It is my Choice
September 01, 2012
The cracks are beginning to show
the veneer is flaking
the structure buckling
I could resist
perhaps repair
camouflaging the damage
I could make do
look the other way
pretend that nothing has changed
It is my choice
Tentatively
I begin to pick away at a flaw
gently scratching away the old
Digging deeper, I feel something crumbling
just under the surface
there is movement
Plunging my hands in deep
debris falls away
pushed aside, no longer useful
It is my choice
Reaching blindly into the darkness
up to my elbows in shadow
I make first contact
I feel resistance
simultaneous pushing and pulling
taking hold, I yank with all my might
I feel a tension in my spine
out of breath, I begin to unravel
turned inside out, I am reborn
It is my choice
Posted by terrapanthera on September 17, 2012
Right! How did I miss this indeed! Of course there's so much in this that I recognise ;-) Isn't reinventing ourselves magical??? The whole flow of this poem, the choice (of words) , how it ends .... I love it! xx
Posted by morraha on September 07, 2012
Oh gosh, I missed this?! Wow Fred. Again, my thought on living an anology comes to mind. It is always the biggest and most frightening adventures that we wish could be accomplished as easy as words.
Posted by frederiqueroy70 on September 07, 2012
Words at least help to contain and make sense of the complicated/scary/messy adventures...
Posted by morraha on September 07, 2012
Help but never quite succeed. They are like a blueprint of what it OUGHT to look like, but someone left out the directions of how to make it so.
Posted by charliebeck on September 03, 2012
FREDDDDD!!!! Reinventing yourself as per usual and always morphing in to another wonderful being. You are an inspiration. This is a wonderful poem and a tremendous image. Well done on every front. Great great great great great great great great great at infinitum.
Posted by frederiqueroy70 on September 03, 2012
Thank you very much Charlie, what a nice comment 8-D
Posted by iamjen on September 02, 2012
Wonderful write, Freddie! So visceral and stubbornly ferocious to get free to be a new creature. Really love the write!
Posted by frederiqueroy70 on September 02, 2012
Thanks Jen! "Stubbornly ferocious" I like that!
Posted by aashton on September 02, 2012
I have to agree with Lianne whole heartedly! I love the movement, transformation, the digging, revealing and changing in your poem and work. It's a journey unfolding, that is exciting! Love this!
Posted by frederiqueroy70 on September 02, 2012
Thank you Alli!
Posted by ramonfernandez on September 02, 2012
Wow! Amazing writing. So full of gutteral emotion. Change is scary as hell, change is painful, new birth is good.
Posted by frederiqueroy70 on September 02, 2012
Thank you Ray. In this case the creation of the image led to the poem, as I struggle to bring meaning and compassion to this confusing process... The end of the poem gives me hope, even as I begin to see there will probably be innumerable "rebirths".
Posted by lianne on September 02, 2012
I am incredibly moved by this Fred - there's no question that transformation can be a painful process as I imagine metamorphosis of your butterflies must be too. It takes great strength of will and openness of heart to undertake such change. I see it in your work...and therefore in you...very clearly over the past six months or so. There is a new depth and a new insight and above all a new determination to make your own choices for change. Love love love this, Fred. xoxox
Posted by frederiqueroy70 on September 02, 2012
Thank you Lianne. I think you understand perfectly. When I first began to explore the theme of metamorphosis, I didn't realize I had such a ways to go. This poem certainly represents another step in an ongoing process which I begin to see will probably last my entire life and maybe even beyond...
Posted by valerierosen on September 01, 2012
Very powerful, Fred. Love the last line. :-)
Posted by frederiqueroy70 on September 01, 2012
Thanks Val, I was going to change it to "Turned inside out, I am born again", but your comment has convinced me to leave it alone.
Posted by valerierosen on September 01, 2012
I like it. Reminds me of the strength in simplicity you see in a last line of a haiku. Understated power. :-) I find myself speechless by much of your work (not that I have a clue. lol). Really, Fred. You're one impressive gal and brave. You really put yourself out there...It's inspiring. :-)
Posted by valerierosen on September 01, 2012
wait, i meant to write, now that I have a clue. lol!